The Devil Take Ye (Lyrics)

Jack crept out, one dusky evening, as the snow wisped wild, unreasoning.

He sensed the subtle shift of air; that prophesised of plight, foursquare.

Yet dire need of drink he deemed, far from his warring wife. Indeed,

His britches held his beads of rose; a de-fence from his spouse, imposed.

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In Bill’s Black Bull, he found his friends, already three-sheets. Stevie said,

‘Six shots, three beers, whisky and wine. Make sure to match and make good time.’

.

As Jack swilled – and swallowed fairly, he pondered on his precious Mary,

Who sat and scowled and warmed her wroth. The drink he drank was not enough.

The furious, fiery, fuming femme would box and bash and kick and crown him,

But in the foggy throws of froth, he deemed he did not care enough.

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As Jack rode home, through dark and dim, the barkeep found Jack hadn’t paid him.

He and his haughty, hefty friends, took up and tracked Jack round a’ bends,

And dikes and dells and a’where else and planned to birch him with their belts.

Yet Jack did cycle, solemn, sure, and sang of all he saw and knew.

He harked of hills and birds of prey, and lively ladies laid in hay.

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Then from the edge of paling eyes, he saw a site that held surprise;

A local teacher creeped and crept. Not on a single stick she stepped.

Jack slinked and snuck through sentient trees, then smelt an iffy, funky breeze.

It harkened to a hearth inhumed, which pungent, putrid death consumed.

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And as he peered, through pale, blurred eyes, he stood there stunned, in such surprise,

For, round and round a ring of grass, danced every teacher, bare of arse,

To ever teach in Alloway. Behind that bush, Jack wished to stay.

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And up above, a stage so rude, old Satan on a platform stood.

And as the devil danced and sang, he trapped and took Jack by the arm.

Old Satan snared him to the pyre, full of flames; ferocious fire.

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Yet in that moment, man alive, those gathered gawped in such surprise.

The barkeep burst beyond the trees and shouted loud, ‘What like are these,

Old besoms bopping, twos and threes, in this clearing, if ye please?’

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The devil jacked our fearful Jack, up to his hairy head and asked,

‘Is he for real or don’t he know – that I’m the devil, here to mow?’

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It was then, Jack played his part and into Lucifer’s ear impart.

‘Convert yourself into some coin. I’ll tend it there, no more purloin,

And when you weigh it worth the joke, change thee back and have him choke.’

.

He then transformed, before Jack’s eyes, with a sudden, stature sacrifice.

Then, on the grass, there lay some gold, which Jack grasped up, the great freeload.

He placed it in his pocket, sure, beside his bless-ed beads, so pure.

The fiend’s firm form no more could alter. When trying to turn he flailed and faltered.

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Jack took this chance and fortune fair, and left the barkeep blowing air,

And rife, the evil rallied round to strip and skin, and herd the hounds.

That barkeep now was less than best of meat and blood and bone and breath.

.

And all across the dikes and dells,

Out loud they rang,

Hell’s heinous bells.